Don't Even Bother

i've practiced until my hands are raw, my back is sore, and my brain is worn out. i can hear them practicing bass and jamming and having fun next door. i feel so dead compared to them. why am i this zombie machine? why am i the responsible adult?

why have all of my friends moved away? even the ones that live in the same city as me don't even talk to me anymore.

did i do something wrong? or is it because i just live too much out of my head?

is anybody out there even listening?

i'm probably going to go back and practice. when i play my mind is too focused on reading the notes to let these questions bother me. hopefully i will wear myself out enough to where i'll be able to sleep- and hopefully he'll stop playing his bass so loud next door to where it rumbles the walls in my room like it did last night so i couldn't sleep.