I feel the piano and the piano feels me. Playing it is like trying to catch lots of fluffy, multicolored lights. I can hear it in my dreams.When I think in piano, I get frustrated because I want to sing it but there are too many notes and they move too fast, and in too many different directions. I try to speak about it, but it is a wordless thought, a wordless thing. I speak and my voice sounds like an awful croak, a disgusting and horrid thing compared to the innate beauty of piano thoughts. Worst of all, I try to play it, but my inner ear is not directly connected to my kinesthetic map of the keys. One day, I will fully attach the sound to my hands, and when I make a hand shape without even touching the keys, I will hear it. That is my deepest and most sincere hope. Then, I will be a satisfied human being and most comfortable and secure in calling myself a musician. Until then, my heart does battle while my fingers, they awkwardly dance, waiting to land on something that is a struggle to keep.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Doing the maths
3 days until my self-proclaimed three day weekend...
20 days until i get to see a doctor.
50 days until my summer break.
63 days until i go to puerto rico for the first time in fourteen years.
91 days until i go to berklee.
15 months until i go to england.
27 years until i retire.
Days of my life that are gone forever: 8,948
Days of my life that are left: unknown
I will be single for the rest of my life.
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