Thursday, April 16, 2009

Dear Diary,
I've been fighting kidney stone attacks all afternoon on and off. I don't know if and when it's going to stop, or even if it has already. I do not like this game. I do not like it a lot.

On a more positive note, I got accepted to participate in the Summer Institute for Piano Teachers at Berklee College of Music in Boston. I needed that piece of sunshine!!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


My throat is sore. And I took this quiz:

Your romantic attachment style: Intense and Preoccupied

I'm preoccupied and intense in my relationships.

You have described yourself as preoccupied in your attachments. This suggests that you have more intense interpersonal relations than many people do, that in your romantic relations you sometimes feel really quite close, and at other times you feel almost estranged and cut-off. You probably have a hard time asserting yourself in a way that makes you feel you are really in control of your emotions. You may find that you often feel let down and as if you are giving much more than you get in your romances.

It's possible that your partners feel as if you don't really know who they are, even though you feel you are very intimate with them. You probably have a higher level of emotional arousal than most other people, both positive and negative, and this gets expressed in your romantic relationships. You may find it hard to be without a lover, and yet find that when you have a lover, the intensity puts a strain on the relationship.

Being preoccupied in romance is a matter of degree. A good lover thinks of the beloved often and holds the beloved in her or his thoughts. Mindfulness is a virtue and being mindful of one's lover is highly regarded and a tremendous asset in close relationships. But there's a difference between mindfulness and preoccupation. If you feel that perhaps you have been too preoccupied in love, it may be time for you to consider professional help. Being overly preoccupied in love is a condition that can often be successfully addressed in psychotherapy.

Remember that attachment styles exist in degrees, and in this test, the degree to which a style is true for you will make a difference in your interpretation. Everyone has to have some style or another, and the features of any one style only become maladaptive when they exist in the extreme.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

do you ever feel that crushing, nagging sense of defeat?

...yeah, me too.

my mom has an esophageal hernia and she's throwing a party. those are two separate thoughts...