Dear Diary,

My father has pneumonia.



~that is all~

The Branches [a meditation on bits of Psalm 80]

"You brought a vine out of Egypt;
you drove out the nations and planted it."

We sing your praise
with our fragile songs
using fragile hearts;
it won't be long.

"You cleared the ground for it,
and it took root and filled the land."

We sing your praise
with our fragile songs
using fragile hearts;
it won't be long.

"The mountains were covered with its shade,
the mighty cedars with its branches."

We sing your praise
with our fragile songs
using fragile hearts;
it won't be long.

"it sent out its boughs to the Sea,
its shoots as far as the River."

We sing your praise
with our fragile songs
using fragile hearts;
it won't be long.

"Watch over this vine,
the root your right hand has planted,
the son you have raised up for yourself."

We sing your praise
with our fragile songs
using fragile hearts;
it won't be long.

Dear Diary,

Absolutely FURIOUS with my advisement group. Disrespectful, wasting my energy, time, and life not to mention theirs. So rude and apathetic.

My piano kids don't know their parts for the concert. They are also rude and apathetic. It makes me want to quit or scream or both.

Angry, tired, work feels overwhelming and hopeless AND I'm gonna have to spend extra hours with the numb-skull kids who have been sitting on their music twiddling their thumbs for the past three months instead of practicing. Idiots.

In other news, I got about four hours of sleep Monday night and six last night which is another reason I'm so short-tempered atm and can't hold anything in. Monday night I was talking with a friend for hours sorting through emotional crisis stuff cuz I hadn't heard from him in a while and there was some random dude who was starting to hit on me in the meantime which I didn't like. Well, he's not a random dude, he's a mutual friend of ours which made it all the more weird. Last night, though I about fell apart cuz of some stupid telemarketer's snide comments and the fact that he didn't pick up when I called. Of course, he called me back after I had cried for about an hour and we had a really good conversation which made me feel at peace. It was probably the only reason I was able to get any sleep at all.

Not feeling particularly peaceful right now, very tired, stomach aching, not a lot of food but not enough energy to go to the store when I'm rushing home after working extra hours to then head to church again. It's a miracle that I'm still functioning, honestly. Not being able to rest well makes me so angry; I'm just hoping I can keep it together tomorrow. I might eat somebody's face off if people don't stop being so stupid.

~Anger Management

Dear Diary,

So I was anxious and emotionally spazzed. I didn't trust at all.

Then he called. And now I feel tons better.

K. G'nite.

~Cherry Tree

Dear Diary,

He never came yesterday. He hasn't talked to me in forever.

God's been doing awesome things at church, in my family, and at work.

And I'm under attack like crazy from the inside out, now. Being tested again. And he's not calling me back which, in itself, is a sign that something, SOMETHING, isn't right here. I don't know what, though, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm SO tired, like I can't explain, and I'm hurting really badly emotionally.

I want to be angry, but I can't be. I'm just kinda numb. And confused. And really I just want to give up.

~Cleopatra

Dear Diary,

Long time no post, tons to write, zero time. He's going to come over in a few hours, and I haven't cleaned a thing.

Gotta teach. Bye!

~me