Dear Diary,

Yeah, I'm back. No, nothing particularly interesting happened to me in the spaces in between. I just wanted the company. And it's warmer near my computer.

Well, wait. I did have an interesting conversation with myself earlier. It went somewhere along the lines of:

...oh wait. I need to find something to wear tomorrow.

*puts on long navy blue pants and red short sleeved shirt with double layer of buttons*

...man, these buttons are really annoying. This would be perfect for tomorrow. IF IT WEREN'T SO FREAKING COLD. *pause* But maybe I could wear a nice warm jacket over it.

*pulls out several jackets and tries each one on in turn*

that would be perfect! if these weren't NAVY BLUE pants....THAT would be PERFECT! if these weren't NAVY BLUE pants.

*pause*

i could wear my khaki pants. but i haven't washed them yet. ick. NO. the navy blue pants. ugh...

*pause*

well, maybe i could wear a jacket when i'm OUTSIDE and it won't matter if it clashes because when i'm inside i can just take it off.

*takes off current jacket*

...which would be perfect if my arms weren't giant caterpillars! to think some people complain about being too top heavy. at least they're NORMAL top heavy. But no, not me. when i say i've got too much on the top, it isn't where every other females' is... it's in my upper arms. my ancestors must've been some burly conquistador muscle men, cuz let me tell you what, i'm built for some major biceps. that would be great if i were a professional olympic weightlifter like Cheryl Hayworth or something. but i'm not. ugh. NO.

*continues searching through jackets, finally finds a cream jacket that matches the pants*

i LOVE it. but it looks so ick with the red shirt. maybe if i find a blue one without a collar...

*follows own orders then gazes at self in mirror*

PERFECT! that is so me! like, who are you messin' with now, eh? you wanna start somethin' with me? i don't think so!

*throws some fake punches then struts out of the room*

And that, Diary, is probably why you are my closest friend. Hehehe. I don't know what's scarier, the fact that I remembered that in such vivid detail, or the fact that earlier today one of my students was telling me an analogy I had given her a couple of weeks ago that I had absolutely no recollection of uttering at all:

Kid: "You said that our trio was like a cake. You said the bass was a plate, the melody was the cake, and the treble part was like the icing."

Me: "I said that?"

Kid: "Yeah."

Me: "Wow, this is scary. I don't remember saying that at all. I mean... it sounds like something I'd say."

Kid: "Because you did."

Me:"Well, it makes sense! Because the bass supports everything, the melody is the meat...or, err... cake, and the treble part is floating on top like the icing..."

Kid: "Hehehe, yeah, it DOES make sense. But you really said it."

Me: "Hahaha. Wow."

So.... story time over?

~I am my own anti-drug