Saturday, April 25, 2009

I don't think I can watch sad movies by myself anymore. I watched 'The Fountain' which was an excellent film, in my opinion, and had a wonderful twisted, imaginative, heart-wrenching plot. After watching it, I promptly had a nervous breakdown, but somehow managed to peel myself off the floor and get to the piano, working through a Chopin Ballade I've been picking at. By the time I was through, I had stopped crying and the nerves in my face had stopped tingling.

Something about having to comfort myself through all of these times makes me innately angry. At one point I was so upset I considered moving back in with my parents, which of course, is crazy talk. They are the least comforting people on the face of the planet. It would make way more sense to have my brother move in with me. But they would never allow it.

5 comments:

jubilescence said...
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jubilescence said...

arg my comment has majorly bad grammar but dude. you get the point.

Mariah said...

things usually hit me at 3am or something crazy. that and i don't know how to ask for help. i don't know what i need or how to ask for it.

jubilescence said...

maybe you just need a nice long hug, there's nothing like warmth to make one feel safe. *hugs* maybe we could attempt some form of sleepover over the summer? me you and heather?

Mariah said...

i'm all about sleepovers. hahaha. yesh.